.... Something isn't right...

I don't know.. something isn't right in my life as of right now...

Recently I have found a girl I really like.. but she has a boyfriend so that has me bummed... but then again I have started to notice that I losing touch with my old friends.. the ones that I helped out and love and the ones that have helped me out in return... after graduating from high school I have had a major depression... I had them during high school but now I have the feeling of extreme loneliness coming... its about the time for me to be having a relationship... but I am afraid that I am adequate enough to be in a relationship with any girl... I want somebody to love me that isn't my family... somebody that will care for me... but so far.. nothing has happened with my wish... my eternal wish to be with somebody that can truly make me happy and be happy with me...

I just don't know... my life has been quite a blur lately... its been quite a blur for all of my life but now... I think that it is worse... I am so confused about what to do with my life... I feel like I have wasted it and I am only eighteen... I have so many emotions going all the time but not the one I want to be going off... by now whoever is reading this you should have guessed which one I am talking about... I don't know.. this is all quite mysterious to me.. but I talked to a friend a day ago and I agree with him... I need to get into a relationship... other wise I will never be happy... I will never be complete... my life is whizzing by now.. I cannot keep up... I guess that is why some people kill themselves.. because they cannot seem to get a hold of there lives and everything in that happens to them turns into a whirlwind of sorrow and the forgotten... I don't know... I might be right...

I have slowly started to notice that my old friends are drifting away from me as I advance in life.. and I really hate that... I love all of my old high school friends... it saddening... I cannot find out whats up in their lifes anymore... It has come to a point where I just want to drop everything right now and talk to everyone I use to know... but that would be impossible... I am just soo confused... I cannot do what I want to do... even though I am not sure what I want to do...

I have run out of stuff to type as of right now... I am not in the mood to continue... I will finish later... in another post... goodbye...

I have lost myself....

~SA

P.S.: I have decided to keep the music playlist... but I think that I will let my words do the talking instead of the music. So it is going to go away for a little way until I think of away to actually make it useful...

I am out...


stay zen...

Movie making bug...

A while back I had a vision while I was taking a shower (Why in the shower? I have no clue...) of chase movie... and while in the shower I had the thought "Why not make a two minute chase movie" and so I when I was still in high school at the time why not do it. I had already had experience editing video and making video for a broadcasting class... so I went with the project...

But I never got around to even starting it... mainly because it was my senior year I had Senior Projects to worry about and that took most of my time... but I did have some free time but I guess now that I look back I just put the project in the back of my mind...

But now that I am currently attending college I am reminiscing of old times... and now I am fired up to do it. I contacted my friend that I wanted to do it with and he still wants to do it so all I need to do now is get a couple more people and some cameras and someplace to edit the video... and I will be set and ready to go and then I can go write it down and shoot it...

I guess after watching videos on YouTube has inspired me after all...

Well I need to finish this post and get to contacting people to get some help...

peace

~S A

PS: I might get rid of my song lists... they are getting a bit hard to maintain... so It might dissapear I am still deciding I will have a decsion by the next entry... till then... stay zen...

Wow... I really need to post more frequently

Wow... well the title says it all... my life has been busy with random stuff... from graduating my high school to installing Zenwalk Linux... yes I decided on an distribution... finally... but yeah... anyway...

I am now going to college and so far so good... I am not having to many problems with it... it feels a bit like high school but with better classes... wow...

Anyway I have a problem... Guitar Hero has taken control of my life... some people would say it isn't a problem some would say differently because it is just a game... but the reason I say that is a problem is because I do not have a copy of the game or the controller. I just go to my friend's house down the street and play his copy and I really want a copy of it... so I stuck waiting until my birthday which even though is not that far off I really need to practice on hard... Yeah I finally got to Hard after being on Medium and Easy for months now... I think a about a year now... and there is already people who have been doing Expert since forever... it makes me feel a bit slow... but who knows.. I might get that orange button down faster than I think I will (My estimated guess of when I will master the orange button: 2012)

I need to finish this post I got a to go chill for a bit... and listen to some music on Pandora.com which in case you did not know is an awesome online radio station site.... check it out if you have specific tastes in music that normal radio does not play.

Peace...

~S A

Long time... no post

Hello to anyone who reads this... I haven't the time to really post... but whatever... I am back... after not posting for a long time... and recently I found out that my account at where I have an mp3 playlist was wiped... why I do not know... but I have found new songs... and here they are:

**Music Player deleted by Blogger**

ATTENTION FOR ANYONE WHO REALLY CARES...

I will put the other songs on here as soon as I can... I have to find a couple.

Okay... time to get things in order

Alright as the title implies... I am going to do this blog the right way...

For now on I am going to list the songs I put up and I am not going to put any new songs up... I am going to do the music once a month... and this blog is not going to have random posts... unless I feeling loopy...

This blog is going to have a log of my journey in linux. I am going to install Linux onto a computer of mine and I am going to do a series of entries about of my struggles and triumphs. But the music will stay... so yeah... this is going to be really hard but I am going to enjoy it... and of course it will have all the normal stuff to like my life and what is happening and stuff so if anybody looks at this...

Get ready to read some interesting entries in the future.


Update: In between this post and the last I have added two new songs and got rid of a couple... the new songs are:

Star Guitar- Chemical Brothers

Recurring- Bonobo

So here is the new list

Enjoy


~SA

... okay second post

Alright....

I now have a second post... I am going to put some more industrial songs this time... but I am going to keep some of the old ones... but I am getting rid of Eminem... I put that up there for a friend... anyway... there is going to be more industrial this time around... so ... yeah enjoy...

~SA